Monday, June 13, 2011
Squatters on My Turf
There are squatters on my turf. I'm frankly steamed.
MPL Makeover Team
(June 11, 2011)
No, wait, Scowl-Face has got the photos out-of-order again. Those aren't the squatters; they are the MPL Makeover Team, who spent last Saturday cleaning and weeding all around the Library grounds (and around town, too, if I'm not mistaken). Introductions are in order, and so, please allow me to present, from left to right: (Row 1) Don Adams, Ron Martin, Shirley Martin, and Molly May; (Row 2) Boss Lady and Lynn Adams. I think they all need "Cauli names," so . . . (same ordering) Yankee Doodle, Rakeman (his superhero alter ego), OfficeMeister, WebMaster (that's her actual job title), Boss Lady (who you already know by her "Cauli" name), and Lynntastic Lady, who is a Library Board member and therefore is one of Boss Lady's bosses, so don't make her mad! OfficeMeister and WebMaster both work for my Library, too. Lynntastic Lady and Yankee Doodle are Programma Mama's parents. I call him Yankee Doodle because that was his CB handle when he and Lynntastic Lady, who are both retired teachers, took the Mooresville High School History Club on a trip to Gettysburg back in 1975 or 1976 or thereabouts. (Ask The Lady With the Red Hair about it.) Yankee Doodle is an even bigger boss, since he sits on the Morgan County (Indiana) Board of Commissioners, so don't make him mad, either. Get those photos in order, Scowl-Face!
MPL Children's Garden
The actual squatters on my turf are in the underbrush by the Library's Children's Garden, which Boss Lady calls the Kinder Garden, so that must be the official name. Who are the squatters, you may wonder? Well, here are the ones Boss Lady captured on digital camera.
The Usual Suspects, Rounded-Up
These ten intruders, which are hiding inside protective shelters, were unable to evade Boss Lady's quick photographic eye. Their ringleader, however, escaped, but we have a good description of the culprit.
A mother quackerwaddle and her ten chicksoons have plunked down their roost in MY feline media entrance! This is where I hang out, grab a quick bite to eat, and catch the latest library (or town) scuttlebutt, before turning in my news stories at my Library. It is MY turf, quackerwaddles. You stay, you pay. Rent. To moi. A can of tuna-in-oil per week. Non-negotiable. Plus some kitty treats as late fees. You might find them inside my Library, if Payor Pal made it so like I said.
Beware, quackerwaddles. If the tuna is not forthcoming, I'll have to initiate an eviction action. That means Feline Enforcers XIV. Remember--we invented tough.
Don't Try "Ducking" the Summons, Either, Quackerwaddles,
Cauli Le Chat
MPL Roving Reporter
Landlord/Tenant News Beat
P.S. Speaking of rent, here's Bob Dylan's "Dear Landlord," from his LP John Wesley Harding (1967).