Many headbutts and purrs to Patrick Roberts, webmaster of Purr 'n' Fur, a website devoted to us wonderful felines that everybody adores. My entry appears with those kitties living in (and, in my case, around) American libraries. You can see it here--scroll down until you see my pretty thumbnail photos.
You know the next question, naturally. Actually, there are several:
- Who will acquire the film rights to my life's story?
- How many cans of tuna-in-oil will they be paying moi?
- When do we begin filming?
Hey, Broadway Gal, take note. This could be THE promotional video for our Library. Forget all those library people gadding about, like in your staff in-service videos; what you need is a superstar to draw in the viewers. That, in a word, is moi. But let's not state the obvious.
Truly big feline celebrities (like Sparkle the Designer Cat) have their own movie star chairs. So let's start with that. Boss Lady, lay out some serious cash and buy moi one of those classy chairs!
Next, we need wardrobe. My roving reporter hat is mighty cool, but I need something more suitable to wear amongst the Hollywood elite. An expensive, glittery collar, perhaps, to go with? Suggestions? Please leave them in my comments section. No goofy hats or slobberdog spike collars, if you please. We're talking serious style here!
Too Bad We Can't Hire Edith Head (1897-1981)
as My Hollywood Fashion Consultant
Many movie stars change their names. Frankly, how could I improve upon Cauli Le Chat? Now, if I were Scowl-Face, I'd seriously consider some name adjustments (and face-and-body adjustments, while we're at it). Honestly, there's a lot to fix there.
Leave your movie star wardrobe suggestions to moi in my comments, and we'll see what we can do. Photoshop works wonders.
I'm Ready For My Close-up Now, Mr. DeMille,
Cauli Le Chat
MPL Roving Reporter
Fame & Fortune News Beat
P.S. Speaking of fame and fortune, here's "Star" by Stealers Wheel, from the album Ferguslie Park (1973). The band had another great "thrust-into-the-limelight" song in "What More Could You Want," from the same album; unfortunately, I can't find a free video online to include here. But there is for the album's last track, "Everyone's Agreed That Everything Will Turn Out Fine," which has these great lyrics in the third line:
"Riding on the subway watching all the people stare
Everyone just listens, they won't do any talking, oh, no, oh, no
They just sit there waitin', waitin' with their eyes
Don't ask any questions, you won't get an answer, oh no, oh no"
Don't ask any questions, you won't get an answer, oh no, oh no"
Gerry Rafferty, who passed over last January, was a much underrated songwriter. So was Joe Egan, his partner is Stealers Wheel. Here's "Everyone's Agreed That Everything Will Turn Out Fine."
Cauli, I suggest writing your memoir NOW, and letting Hollywood make a movie out of it! Then they can cast some other kitty to play you - I mean, who wants to get up before the crack of dawn and slave all day in front of a movie camera? Let someone else do it, while you stay home and collect the royalties.
ReplyDeleteGreat idea, Sparkle! My buddy Juliet (Jules Le Chat is her special correspondent name) is a good body double for moi. Do studios pay royalties in canned tuna-in-oil?
ReplyDelete