Any by Scowl-Face Will Serve

Thursday, August 18, which, in my time zone, is about a half-hour from now, is National Bad Poetry Day.  For some readers, any poetry is bad, but that's a rather all-inclusive categorization, if you ask moi.  There's plenty of good stuff out there; Garrison Keillor has said so, and he knows plenty.

For bad poetry, however, you need look no further than Scowl-Face.  He has published (really) a few poems in literary magazines, some of which were written for his (and friends') children.  (Please do not embarrass them by asking to see copies.)  He has one poetry collection, Full Circle, to his (dis)credit.  It was published 18 or 19 years ago, so if you could find a copy, it might be worth something.  But probably not much.  It sold maybe a dozen copies, most of which he probably purchased and gave to friends who, if Facebook had been around then, would have promptly "defriended" him.

Bad Poetry Day is designed to excuse people's efforts to pen poor poetry.  It is your authorized opportunity to compose the worst poems you can write.  That can be a fun game, if you and your friends are somewhat creative.   Bad poems often rhyme, which is not to imply that rhyming poetry is inherently inferior--it isn't--so you shouldn't limit yourself to any particular poetic form or style.  Just jot it down, laugh about it, and then incinerate it.  Why make the world suffer more?

Actually, since nobody writes using paper anymore, you can word-process your bad poetry and then click "don't save."  Better yet, you can write your lousy poetic inspirations in blog comments.

Hey, why not?  Leave a few lines in my comments section.  Remember, this is a family-friendly blog, more or less, so keep it appropriate for all readers.  Try something more sophisticated than mere limericks.  (Anything like "I knew a girl from Nantucket ..." is going to end rather crassly, any way you slice it.)

Do felines write poetry?  Well, we don't actually form verse, free or otherwise.  Our poems are performance pieces.  If you've ever watched a cat doing anything, you've seen poetry in motion (or at rest).  Remember:  objects at rest tend to remain at rest, and objects in motion . . .  Well, you can look up Newton's First Law of Motion on your own time.

Must Be a Huge Book

Poem and a Shave, Two-Bits, Mister,

Cauli Le Chat

MPL Roving Reporter

Lousy Literature News Beat

P.S.  Here is a classic bad poem (okay, Wordsworth wasn't a bad poet, but this version is pretty corny) from The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show, which was actually two television series, Rocky and His Friends (1959-1961) and The Bullwinkle Show (1961-1964).  This was the wittiest cartoon program ever made, hands-down.  It was the MST3K of cartoons.