Wednesday, December 22, 2010
What Is This -- Some Kind of Cruel Joke?
A roving reporter has to pound the news beat in all kinds of nasty weather. Like today. The wind is fiercely blustering, and there's snow on the ground all around the library (and as far as a cat's eye can see, which, let me tell you, is pretty far). It chilled me to the bone, and then some. So, after submitting my latest blog to my editor, Scowl-Face (he works at the library; you'll know him when you see him), I decided to stretch out before a nice, warm fire next to the main entrance.
Now, any idiot can see that there's a fire blazing away. There's a fake slobberdog by the Christmas tree, plus Santa Dude, although the holiday preparations seem to have worn him to a raveling, as Beatrix Potter wrote in The Tailor of Gloucester. But that fire--it's as real as the fur on my tail.
Now, here's the funny thing. I circled around three times and curled up in a ball directly in front of the fire, but there was not one joule of heat! (I know I'm incorrectly using the term Joule--calorie would be more scientifically accurate--but one of my neighborhood pals is named Juliet, or Jule for short. Well, actually, we call her "Stumpy" because her tail was shortened in an industrial accident.) This "fire" was just cold air blowing some fake flames around. What's the deal with that?
Boss Lady must not know that this fireplace is some kind of bogus affair. When a hardworking kitty comes in from the frost, s/he wants a warm fire for curling up purposes. I trust that this deplorable situation will be remedied when I next visit the library for an afternoon nap.
Still chilled to the bone,
Cauli Le Chat
MPL Roving Reporter
Ice Breaker News Beat
P.S. Thanks to Scowl-Face for the photos. BTW, I've got two words for you: tri ... pod. They call them still pictures for a reason. If you're going to shake the camera like you're making popcorn, mine should have lots of butter.
P.P.S. Maybe my library colleagues should read The Quest for Fire: a Novel of Prehistoric Times, by J. H. Rosny. Here's our book trailer showcasing this intriguing story: