Settling Into My New Digs

MPL Indiana Roving Reporter Room

(Former Occupant Needs to Clear Out His Desk!)

I'm settling into my new digs in the Indiana Roving Reporter Room at the Library.  I have found superior sleeping quarters atop the really-cool mobile ladder.  Minions, make with the sherpa and soft cushions!  Get some with those cute kitty designs.

Fantastic Climbing Ladder for Moi

More Spacious Sleeping Quarters

(Where are the Comfy Pillows and Sherpa?)

Ladder is Exclusively for Moi

Atop the display cases is a tiny covered wagon (also called a "prairie schooner"), being pulled by two oxey moo-cows.

"Go West, Tiny Man!" Horace Greeley Could Have Said

The scale of the thing is puzzling.  If you look-up covered wagons on the Internet, they appear much larger.  Furthermore, I've seen oxey moo-cows in pastures, and they are whopping big.  These seem pretty tiny in comparison.  Perhaps the wagon and livestock belong to miniature pioneers who settled 'round these parts.

Pretty Tough Meat, I Bet

(Not That I'm Suggesting Anything Barbaric Here)

Authentic Prairie Schooner

(Note Water Barrel & Brake Lever)

This is not to be confused with a Conestoga wagon, which was broad-wheeled and shaped more like a boat to make it more water-worthy when fording rivers and streams.  The canvas covering was usually not as tall as that used on the prairie schooner.

Somebody suggested that this was only a model, but I'm certain it was actually used by little pioneers travelling across the Appalachian mountains to settle in the Northwest Territory in the early days of the Republic.  Why, here in the Indiana Roving Reporter Room is photographic proof that the wagon existed during ancient settlers' times.

Mooresville Pioneers (with Covered Wagon)

(Probably 1838-1839)

You can tell they're pioneers, because of the strange clothing and grim expressions.  The wagon in the photograph looks nearly identical to the one displayed in the MPL Indiana Roving Reporter Room.  Close enough for horsey-shoes, as the ol' timers say.

Well, I hope Scowl-Face plans to continue feeding those oxey moo-cows (and clean up their poo).  We roving reporters have a fairly full schedule, and we don't really have time for such duties.

Looking for the Servants' Bell,

Cauli Le Chat

MPL Roving Reporter

Office Assignment News Beat

P.S.  Speaking of pioneers, prairie schooners, wagon trains, and "westward ho!," here is Oregon Trail, written and performed by legendary folk singer/songwriter Woody Guthrie.

Chicksoons Should Become Early Readers

Now that the chicksoons have passed through their recent humidity crisis (see today's chick blog for details), they probably just want to kick back and relax for awhile in their eggs-travagant living quarters.  Fortunately, our Library has many interesting children's books that should intrigue both chicksoons and people patrons alike.

Sounds Like a Song is Coming Along

Here a Chick, There a Chick, by Bruce McMillan (New York: Lothrop, Lee & Shepard Books, 1983) may be out-of-print, but it remains a popular read around our Library, particularly among the little preschool folks, human ages 2-6.  The author meticulously photographed chicks at life's earliest post-eggs-isting stages, from hatching to becoming little fluffy featherballs.  Placing feed on the ground in little paths, the chicks, as they hatched, immediately found and began eating and walking where the food paths led.  McMillan photographed it all, and in his book, he used single-word opposites on each page, which described the action pictured.  This is a shrewd way to learn about opposite concepts as expressed in English, and little readers and their parents still thrill at the wonderful color photos.  The chicks are so cute!

I've Known a Few in My Time

Tough Chicks, by Cece Meng (illustrated by Melissa Suber) (New York: Clarion Books, 2009) tells the story of three independent, self-confident chicks (Penny, Polly, and Molly) who behave contrary to barnyard expectations. Little chicks are supposed to be docile, quiet, and do what they're told, but as a feline, I can assure you that I sympathize with the chicks' desire to make up their own minds for themselves.  These tiny tots are fearless and plenty smart, too.  Farmer Fred, however, was nonplussed when the trio started peeking underneath the tractor engine hood.  Hey, chicks, that's nowhere to be playing!

Later, when the tractor mysteriously stopped running, Farmer Fred decided he must push it down a hill to get it back to the barnyard.  It was a disastrous plan, and it looked like certain doom for the henhouse that lay directly in the runaway tractor's path.  Who could save the day?

Well, I didn't get to find out, because I heard my supper dish being filled (right on schedule) by the Lady With the Red Hair, so you will have to check-out the book at my Library and find out what happens.

Here are our Library's call numbers for these two chick books:

• Tough Chicks
• EASY MEN

• Here a Chick, There a Chick
• EASY MCM

Ask any of our staff if you need help finding these books.

Maybe our chicksoons will appear in one of Broadway Gal's great photo books that she writes and designs.  Tell her they deserve their own special book.  So do I, for that matter.

Bookchicks Sounds Better Than Bookworms, Which Taste Yucky, I'm Sure,

Cauli Le Chat

MPL Roving Reporter

Chicksoon News Beat

P.S.  Thinking about the chicksoons' humidity crisis reminded me of this great song by Creedence Clearwater Revival, Have You Ever Seen the Rain (1970).

Then, of course, there is Rain (1966), by the Beatles.  Plus loads of others--Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head (1969), released by B. J. Thomas (and included on the soundtrack of the 1969 movie Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid), but written by Burt Bacharach & Hal David; I Wish It Would Rain (1967, but on Billboard's charts in 1968), by the Temptations; Here Comes That Rainy Day Feeling Again (1971), by the Fortunes; and Rainy Jane (1971), by Davy Jones (doing a leftover Monkees tune--apparently, it was too saccharine even for the Prefab Four to release [actually, the group had thinned to Jones and Micky Dolenz by around this time {1970}]).   Guess there's no harm in a few more embedded videos.  It's sure to please any of my over-50 readers (and bewilder anyone much younger).

A Glaring Omission

What's wrong with this picture?

Library Vending Machine

Yes, this is one of the vending machines in my Library.  But there's a glaring omission clearly visible.  Do you see what's missing?  Take a closer look:

Lots of Great Snacks, But . . .

Let me connect the dots:  NO kitty snacks!  Nada!  Zilch!  Not that first packet of freeze-dried, dehydrogenated, tuna-flavored snacks.  I ask you, what is this world coming to?  Where is a Roving Reporter supposed to go when she stops by the Library, breathless after running down the latest news scoop, and hungry to boot?

You would think that Payor Pal, who is the Library Business Manager and is in charge of stocking the vending machines, would have the elementary foresight to identify a clear market demand for which supplies should be readily secured.  What piffle did they teach you at Purdue, anyway?  Surely you are familiar with basic supply-and-demand curves.

Supply & Demand Diagram

(ECON-101 Pretty Basic Stuff)

That diagram may be wrong--after all, Scowl-Face drew it, and he hasn't had an economics course since 1977 (and learned precious little even then)--but that's hardly the point, now, is it?  The point is plain:  when a kitty is hungry and visits the Library to turn-in the latest news stories, she expects some tasty treats, pronto!  Explain, if you would be so kind, how I am supposed to choke-down the people-fare that's currently stocked in the vending machines.  Solid planning could have averted this inventory oversight.

Not What I Expected.  Ptooie!

Those aren't even real goldfish in that bag!  And "animal crackers" is clearly misleading advertising.

Once again, I must take up the task if any actual work is to be done properly.  I have instructed my minions to replenish the vending stocks like so:

A Vastly Superior Selection, Kitty-Wise

Now, minions, purchase my selections, if you please.

Hey, Lady With the Red Hair!

Wrong Machine!  WRONG MACHINE!!!

Still Hungry and Getting Rather Testy About It,

Cauli Le Chat

MPL Roving Reporter

Food Commodity News Beat

P.S.  As a special (not necessarily kitty) treat, we present The Monkees' "Salesman" from their album Pisces, Aquarius, Capricorn & Jones, Ltd. (1967).

Chicksoons Find Knight in Shining Armor

The Babies, a.k.a. the soon-to-be chicks in their eggs ("chicksoons"), have found their protector.

Knight in Shining Armor

(Standing Guard in MPL Youth Services)

Reading With Broadway Gal

(From the MPL Video, Librarians Do Taio Cruz [2010])

While dropping off a rough draft of another blog at the Library, I discovered that the Knight in Shining Armor, who stands guard in the Youth Services Department, had wandered next to the YS Information Desk, directly in front of the area in which the incubator (and the eggs/chicksoons) is operating. Click the picture below to read the inserted text (should work, but I make no guarantees):

Knight Takes Up a Defensive Position

by the Youth Services Info Desk

("No Harm Shall Pass!")

You can't see it, but I know that knight has a broadsword in a scabbard, probably behind his back.  Even slobberdogs know that swords are double-edged, sharp, pointed, and potentially nasty if you're on the receiving end. Looks like that knight is ready to protect the chicksoons from any foul (or fowl?) play.  (Sorry--bad pun.)

I may need to send one of my special feline correspondents to continue coverage of this story for my loyal readers.  Hey, Harley ("Jimmy Olsen"), I've got the perfect story for our top "cub" reporter.

I'm No Fool When It Comes To Swordplay,

Cauli Le Chat

MPL Roving Reporter

Medieval News Beat

P.S.  Enjoy this 1973 video of Gladys Knight & the Pips singing "Midnight Train to Georgia."

Bogus USDA Badge Comes in Handy for Chick Hatchery Eggs-amination

Since I am a roving reporter, I run across all manner of interesting objects scattered about the countryside.  One that I recently stumbled across was an ID card for some USDA inspector named Gertrude Wallace-Fitzkirby (not her real name, of course).  With a little PhotoShop skill, I was able to create this quite realistic badge.

Bogus Badge Works Again!

With my counterfeit USDA identification in paw, I was able to slip past security in the MPL Youth Services Department and "inspect" the incubator housing the soon-to-be-hatching chick eggs.  With my experienced and heightened senses, including the inscrutable feline sixth sense, I am happy to report that everything is progressing eggs-actly as egg-spected.  The Babies (as Broadway Gal calls them) are snug and secure, and from all indications, there should be quite a brood running around the YS Information Desk in a few weeks.

We "USDA Livestock Inspectors" are required to photographically document the chicks' progress, and so . . .

Incubator Indicates Impressive Coziness in

E.G.G.S. (Environmentally Gauged Growth Systems)

If you haven't already done so, please visit Broadway Gal's chick blog to learn the latest egg-citing developments.

Oh, one last thing.  I need to paste this in a visible location on the incubator.

Going to Great Lengths to Secure a Story,

Cauli Le Chat

MPL Roving Reporter

Egg-ceptional News Bureau

P.S.  Scowl-Face just told me that impersonating a USDA inspector is a federal crime!  He cites the following statutory authority:

§ 912. Officer or employee of the United States

Whoever falsely assumes or pretends to be an officer or employee acting under the authority of the United States or any department, agency or officer thereof, and acts as such, or in such pretended character demands or obtains any money, paper, document, or thing of value, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than three years, or both.

SOURCE:  18 United States Code (U.S.C.) § 912.

Who may be prosecuted under this federal criminal law?  Does it only apply to humans?  Generally, the term whoever refers to an individual, or "any person who ..."  The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language 1463 (Boston: American Heritage Publishing, 1975).  According to Black's Law Dictionary 696 (St. Paul: West, 5th ed., 1979), "As a noun, this term ["individual"] denotes a single person ..."  Black's goes on to define person "in general usage" as "a human being ..."(Id. at 1028).

Whew!  (Thanks, Scowl-Face, for the legal research.)  So this federal law does not apply to felines.  In your face, U.S. Attorneys Office!

P.P.S.  Test your intestinal fortitude by watching "The Chicken Dance" as demonstrated by several long-time performers from The Lawrence Welk Show.  The video description lists the performers.