Saturday, March 19, 2011
A Glaring Omission
What's wrong with this picture?
Library Vending Machine
Yes, this is one of the vending machines in my Library. But there's a glaring omission clearly visible. Do you see what's missing? Take a closer look:
Lots of Great Snacks, But . . .
Let me connect the dots: NO kitty snacks! Nada! Zilch! Not that first packet of freeze-dried, dehydrogenated, tuna-flavored snacks. I ask you, what is this world coming to? Where is a Roving Reporter supposed to go when she stops by the Library, breathless after running down the latest news scoop, and hungry to boot?
You would think that Payor Pal, who is the Library Business Manager and is in charge of stocking the vending machines, would have the elementary foresight to identify a clear market demand for which supplies should be readily secured. What piffle did they teach you at Purdue, anyway? Surely you are familiar with basic supply-and-demand curves.
Supply & Demand Diagram
(ECON-101 Pretty Basic Stuff)
That diagram may be wrong--after all, Scowl-Face drew it, and he hasn't had an economics course since 1977 (and learned precious little even then)--but that's hardly the point, now, is it? The point is plain: when a kitty is hungry and visits the Library to turn-in the latest news stories, she expects some tasty treats, pronto! Explain, if you would be so kind, how I am supposed to choke-down the people-fare that's currently stocked in the vending machines. Solid planning could have averted this inventory oversight.
Not What I Expected. Ptooie!
Those aren't even real goldfish in that bag! And "animal crackers" is clearly misleading advertising.
Once again, I must take up the task if any actual work is to be done properly. I have instructed my minions to replenish the vending stocks like so:
A Vastly Superior Selection, Kitty-Wise
Now, minions, purchase my selections, if you please.
Hey, Lady With the Red Hair!
Wrong Machine! WRONG MACHINE!!!
Still Hungry and Getting Rather Testy About It,
Cauli Le Chat
MPL Roving Reporter
Food Commodity News Beat
P.S. As a special (not necessarily kitty) treat, we present The Monkees singing "Salesman" from their album Pisces, Aquarius, Capricorn & Jones, Ltd. (1967).