Monday, June 13, 2011
Snidely Whiplash, I'm Not
Scowl-Face, who is not as dumb as he looks, had some sage advice following my previous blog: "Don't be turning-out the widder quackerwaddle and her chicksoon brood. Don't be a bad-guy landlord sleaze-bag. It does not play well to your adoring throngs." He's right, for a change (although I hardly expected slang like widder from ol' Scowlly). One of my most loyal readers, Ellie (from the U.K.), voiced a similarly wise opinion (see her comment to my previous posting). I'm not a mean feline; in fact, I guess I'm sort of squatting myself when I hang around the outside of my Library, even though I'm on the library staff, sort of.
Snidely Whiplash, I'm Not
I was a little hot under the flea collar earlier, what with Mrs. Quackerwaddle and her chicksoons lounging around my digs and probably raiding my supper dish. OF COURSE, my Library WELCOMES the Quackerwaddle family with open
mouths paws arms. They may stay in the MPL Kinder Garden as long as they like, rent-free. We will consider them a living library program for our Youth Services Department.
Hey, that gives me a brainstorm! We could charge admission for folks to spy their little eyes at those tiny chicksoon eggs and then . . . I'm told that Boss Lady has scotched that idea cold--almost before my minions finished typing it. Okay, fine. Try to suggest a good fundraising idea, and you get your hat handed to you.
Well, the important thing is that the quackerwaddles have a warm, dry, safe place to roost until hatching time. I will have Feline Enforcers XIV protect them by defending the perimeter of the Library grounds. That way, nothing will get through to hurt those chicksoons or their mama. We felines can be very protective of our buddies. For backup, I know a few slobberdogs who will be ready to step into the fray, if need be. With security like this, those quackerwaddles can lounge around serenely and comfortably.
Minions, Looks Like You'll Need to Make a Grocery Run for Canned Tuna-in-Oil,
Cauli Le Chat
MPL Roving Reporter
Neighborhood Wildlife News Beat
P.S. Sorry, Jules Le Chat, but I've taken over your news beat for this feature. Write some classifieds or something.
P.P.S. Speaking of Snidely Whiplash reminded me of insensitive bosses, which lead, quite sensibly, to "Boss Man," by Gordon Lightfoot, which was included on his 4-CD set Songbook (1999), and as performed live (above) at a concert somewhere, sometime. (I wish these nice folks who post these things to YouTube would provide bibliographical citations. I am a library feline and a roving reporter, after all.) Click here to read the lyrics.